Poetry

Early Experiments



||: Phases :||
||: phase :|| (rapidly repeated)
||: phases :||
||: faces :||
||: face it :||
||: you cannot :||
||: remain :||
>    > (accents)
the same
||: same :|| (accelerando)
||: ssssss :||
so----- (glissando up)
you wanna
||: change :||
||: chains :||
||: social mores :||
||: worries :||
||: vacation :||
||: two weeks :||
>      >
that's all
||: fettucini :||
for ||: supper :||
||: suffer :||
||: suffering :||
||: no one no one no one knows :||
||: what it's like :||
||: to be :||
||: or not :||
||: never been :||
||: never been alive :||
||: lie :||
||: to yourself :||
||: your happy :||
>     >
your not
||: flee :||
||: anyone :||
||: where are you :||
||: where you going :||
||: how is it :||
||: in front of :||
||: vanity :||
||: vanity fair :||
||: isn't she fair :||
||: oh :||
if she were ||: mine :||
||: would you be mine :||
||: I like :||
||: your sweaters :||
||: sweaters :||
||: let her :||
||: go :||
||: no :||
||: come back :||
||: it's only the beginning :||
>
stop

>
scars


||: :|| = words reiterated many times, fast or slow ad lib.
A performance possibility could be using two microphones. A microphone with a repeating echo for the reiterated words and a second microphone, say with a long reverberation for the words not reiterated.







-ation
when I hold you in

who do you

about

it isn't

never been

how I need

only

ring, no words

I like you

bye

gone out

no, he's okay

happens every

despair yeah

intelligent,     insensé,     absurde,     isolé      -tres

if            they            could            ever            -no

where is comfort                      able

frustr-

lost all

it's so                   for them

naturalamb

I    can                   t                      no one

desper-

what's                with me

your not so                          yourself

my arms

think me

its oh you

lone

depriv-







Aphorism
is it
so
it is a series
a series
of
of repetitions
in the sky around
soaring around
I watched
as day turns to night
today
mark you
I was borne
to the summit
I tumble
in between
are but endless cycles
our lot and core
the tap drips
drip drips
over and over
there the candle
flows to the
sea
how I go
and wile away
the hour
of death
in each moment
lives
as the glass of life
in every second
flees
the sand
on the beach
under my foot
is wet
and warm
is your
touch
for lands
far away
I wonder
is this all
except for god
who we
deceive
to know
and cannot
I see the flower
of springs
and waters
flowing rustling
leaves
enchanted flute
cries
through the valley
echo
away
in the wilderness
until
no
one
will
us
hear
is
the
end

Juhan Puhm, February 12 1988

The poem "aphorism" is not just to be read from beginning to end "finito". Lines are to be strung together for effect. One can improvise to one's liking bringing in as much or as little as one chooses. One can choose to read one line, repeat it, repeat it with the next line or string together as many as chosen. The only rules that apply are that you cannot skip a line omitting anything in between, you keep moving forward and once you have left a line you cannot return to it and no dissecting of lines as each is it's own entity. Words though spelt one way may take their other meanings, for example; hear = here.

Below is a simple realization. Realizations can be much more complicated with much more repetition and velocity. (the two "of"s that would have been in the fourth line have been conflated to a single "of")


Aphorism
is it
is it so?
so it is a series a series of
a series of repetitions in the sky around soaring around I watched
I watched as day turns to night today
today mark you I was borne
I was borne to the summit
to the summit I tumble in between
in between are but endless cycles our lot and core
are but endless cycles our lot and core?
the tap drips drip drips over and over
over and...over there the candles flows to the sea
see how I go and wile away
how I go and wile away the hour of death
the hour of death in each moment lives as the glass of life in every second flees
in every second flees the sand on the beach
the sand on the beach under my foot is wet and warm
is wet and warm is your
touch for lands far away
for lands far away I wonder is this all
is this all except for god who we deceive to know and cannot
and cannot I see the flower of springs and waters flowing rustling leaves
enchanted flute cries
cries through the valley echo away
echo away in the wilderness
away in the wilderness until no one
until no one will us hear
no one will us hear
us here
here is
here is the
is the
the
the end







Love
Love is like running with blinders on
through furry fields
and falling over a cliff
crashing hard on the rocks below
scattered everywhere
looking up
and wondering what happened
this is the quickest way
and though the pain is immense it is soon forgotten
and revival fastest to dash headlong again


or falling over the edge
grabbing a vine here
to stop the fall
or a tree there
till its roots pull out
and dirt gets in your face
or a rock that crumbles
under your fingertips
slowly all the way down
to the very same rocks
though the landing isn't as hard
it's the very same place
this is the slow way
the pain prolonged
and one must also recover
at the bottom, looking up, bewildered
but eventually to roam among new grass once more


or falling over the edge
grabbing a branch to climb up again
to falling over the edge
sometimes farther, sometimes a little
climbing up
falling over
up
but over and over
until strength runs out
and the descent is marked
by blood and sweat
every foot given desperately
until one is again in the same place
only a little further down
the stop anticlimactic
to the fingernails in the rock face
this is the worst most torturous way
and one looks up with gleaming eyes
from the depths of angst
frayed to start up again
these are usually the skeletons you trip over
rarely ever finding another meadow

Juhan Puhm, August 30 1988







Love and Hate
it's a game
it is too easy for me to fall in love with you
or anybody
and I hate the way I feel
when the bottom drops out
and I am left hanging
with a noose around my heart
pulled tight
swollen
cutting off all circulation to my reason
exploding through my senses

I hate you
because if I loved you
and you couldn't return my love
I would hate you
and I could say to myself
I hated you all along
and deceive pain
say I never did like your smile
the way you talked
your eyes
your hair

in order to love you
I must hate you now
as completely as I can
and as much as I am capable
more
so that if we do come to pass
and deep is our love
it will be because
I could not hate you
more

I hate when this happens to me
these feelings
that wretch my insides
longing
and thinking
of you, and you, for you
over
I grow depressed
and desire not to see you
or know you
and then we part
and then I hate you
I hate you now
because I know if I love you
I won't
you play me with your hand
I resist
I resist being drawn in

I love you
because if I hated you
and you could return my love
I would love you
and I could say to myself
you turned away my hate
to love
say I always did like you
what you were
who you were
why you are
now

I hate you
for what you do to me
for if I loved you
I'd be worse

Juhan Puhm, 1988







Judgements
What am I judged upon
in sight of man, woman, that deemed god
that makes me worthy?
how wealthy?
or how much planned attainment
but if I plead incidental to my existence
I am misunderstood, only
that to be free is much preferable
to bondage of always wanting more
but that's not the way it's looked at at all
successful by raking it in
the car, the clothes, the house
the results of my pursuits lie elsewhere
unmeasurable by such
then you fail
says so why are you wasting your time?
decreed your place in society
and we envy the mansion
and the someone special
to be allowed so much
but I am happy with enough
or a little more
how wise?
then tell us something to believe in
ease the pain of our normalacy
show us we just aren't one of the masses
transport us to realms of bliss, ideal love
continuous laughter and happy endings
to forget a few hours
be important, individual
the world that ceases to exist without us
and crumbles
without bricklayers and operators
to primal savagery
but I continue to lay down my blocks
of observations
cruel truths as far as I can tell
ugly beauty
seeking immortality
taking a few minutes of glorification
every once in a while
for some entertainment
that doesn't bite

Juhan Puhm, 1988







A Field
i'm so
       so
       sewin'
       so   in
       sewin'  love
           win   love
i'm so win  love
       sowin'  in
sowin' a field
                feel da
                feel han dsa
                        handsome
                        han dsa bout
                waists
                ways ta
                han dsa bout waists close*
                hold close
                close*
    waists close* you me
    slowly
    ways to way
    and follow
    gently the hill
    sides
    around us
    surround us trees
    stroll softly
    beside myself
    aside you
    through field
    touch me
    we walk
    quaintly quietly
    bare feet feel
    the damp earth
    forest paths
                           leaves
                           lead
               inside trees
               to follow up
                                      hill

Juhan Puhm, September 1988

(close* as in close the door, close as in hold close)







Orange in the Small of Your Back
 
o     or     or     ora     a     o      a     o     ra     or     ra

ora     ora     n     n     an      ran     oran     n     dʒ     ʒ

nʒ     andʒ     randʒʒ     orandʒʒ     orandʒ

[ orange,     orange,     orange in ]      i     in     dʒʒi

ndʒin     orandʒʒinth     th     tha      [the]     n     [orange

in     the ]     s     su     sm      susm     m     m     ma

a     sma     l     la     f      smal     [ small,     orange

in,     in     the,     orange      in     the     small ]     l     la

av     lav     [ orange     in     the      small     of ]

v     y     y     ya     yau      u     ur     yaur     [ your ]

y     [ small     of,     orange     in,      of,     orange     in     the     small

of     your ]     r     rb     b      ba     bak     k     ba     bak

[ back ]     b     k     [ orange ]     a      [ orange     in ]     o     ʒk

[ orange     in     the     small ]     vla      [ in     the     small,

your ]     y     y         (pause)          [ orange     in     the     small     of

your     back ]

Juhan Puhm, March 19 1989

( dʒ as in jam, dʒʒ or ʒ extended as in vision )     [     ] = spoken normally







Pleasing Pink Sheets Scented With Sun Rays Flow
pleasing
day
tom-toms
I
play
a song
how
how I wish
wish you where?
with you
where? here!
pink
heaven to send
you
we parted only
an hour or so
hours ago
hours she go
ours
a warm spring thaw
a cool wind blow
sheets
hold me close
pocket full of
pears
tears
cares
fears
bed full of
hair
wish
wish you
you where?
here!
sleep
quietly
scented
rest
body and breath
in
inhale
you
you in
inside me
me in
in you
heart full
with
of
love
laugh
tender eyes
cry
it's alright
curl up
warmth
pressed
between us
orange
sky
sun
of morning
light
falls
let fall
rays
upon you
upon ways
to waves
ways of waves
waves
flow

Juhan Puhm, March 27 1989






Found Words
right now that could be
self ex Langenscheidts fabrique aux E.U.
thanks Canada merci las stereo March
a burt baca trail o the same
divination safety matches

La Carefe dent's ourmet
dance waltzes Now free chaud
Bordeaux cherry fil I Ching right
volume en-
-core next morning we where
naturally sparkling Taj Majal
I don't believe you older Steiß
consequence

To Whomsoever
Whowherever
Howsoever However Hoover
It May Concern ploration
change at and he was the only

Cool Folkmusic well done
thank you ad black, youth top
Indian the third serial
no. sympho-
-ny continuous oeufs
panther panting S. Barber Biltons
eh r memerox philharmo-
-nic new place

Juhan Puhm, March 30 1989